Wrestlers, Divas, and General Immaturity
by disorderly-being
Summary: Just because you're an adult, doesn't mean that you have to act like one... One-shots, depicting Lita as the main character.
1. Flash Light

Wrestlers, Divas, and General Immaturity

Word Prompt: Flashlight

As a child, she was taught not to be out after dark because bad things happened. Fortunately, she was no longer a child and she was more than able to take care of herself. It also helped that she wasn't exactly alone. Sure, she argued with herself, she was alone for the moment; the flashlight held tightly in her fist pointing this way and that. But, it was all part of their little game. Whose idea it was to play hide and seek during the dead of night, in the middle of a playground of all places, was lost to her. As for why they had all agreed to it... There was never really a reason for most of the things they did... They just did it.

"Marco..."

"Polo?" Her fellow Diva, Trish Stratus, called out. A pause before she asked, "Are your eyes closed? Don't your eyes have to be closed for us to play Marco Polo?"

Lita rolled her eyes. "No, Trishers, my eyes aren't closed. Although, they might as well be for all that I'm seeing right now."

"What can you see?"

"Grass, grass, foot-" Lita quickly turned in the direction she had seen the foot go. She cursed when whoever the foot belonged to (she was guessing it was one of the guys) disappeared. "Marco..."

"Polo," this time it was Jeff Hardy that had replied. And she startled because he was close, very close considering that his breath tickled her ear. She spun around in hopes of catching him...

"Damn it, Jeffro, stay still!"

His chuckles were heard farther away.

"Marco..."

"Polo. And, wait a second, isn't Marco Polo usually played inside a pool?" Trish again.

"I'm improvising, just go with it."

"Yeah, she needs all the help she can get."

"Shut up, Jericho!" Lita frowned, waving her flashlight around in front of her. "Or don't shut up, keep talking so I can figure out where the hell you are and you can be stuck trying to find everyone for a change."

"You'll never catch me, I'm like a ninja..."

She rolled her eyes, turning the flashlight off.

"I'm blind! Holy shit, I'm a blind ninja!" Still Chris.

A faint thud was heard before...

"Aaaaaaaahhhhhh!" High-pitched, girly screaming...

"What the fuck did you do that for?"

"Dude, my foot!"

"My bad."

"Someone's touching my ass! Hands off ass... NOW!"

"Um, oops. Sorry, Edge."

"Trish?"

"Yeah."

"Oh. Well, you can touch my ass whenever you want."

"Pervert."

"You know it, babe."

"You can turn that flashlight on whenever you want... Leets?"

Lita stood unmoving, waiting until someone got close enough before...

"Gotcha!"

Chris Jericho scowled at her, his eyes squinting because of the light. "Not fair. You cheated!"

Lita arched a brow. "I wasn't aware that there were any rules..."

The blond man pouted. "Every game has rules."

"Well, we never established any... Would you please just count to a hundred," she threw the flashlight at him and giggled when he failed to catch it, the wrestler for some reason bending his head forward; the flashlight smacking against his head.

He groaned in pain.

"Eyes closed, Jerky," she told him, turning around and quickly running off. The diva colliding with another body, easily able to tell it was Trish; they were the only Divas present.

"I'm getting tired of this game," the blonde whispered.

"Me, too," came a soft southern voice next, Jeff standing behind her.

Lita smirked, "Wanna leave the rest of them here and head back to my house? I'm starving!"

Trish and Jeff agreed without protest.

"Us, too!" Randy Orton and John Cena spoke up, joining the three as they walked home; leaving Edge, Christian, and Jericho in the park.

"Ninety, a hundred," counted Chris.

"You're not supposed to count by tens, that's cheating!"

"Shut up, jackass!


	2. Hotel Room

Wrestlers, Divas, and General Immaturity

Word Prompt: Hotel Room

Lita had just finished with her shower when she noticed that the room was quiet. Which was very unusual considering that she was, once again, sharing a hotel room with Jeff Hardy. She quickly got dressed and wrapped her still wet hair in a towel before she cautiously exited the bathroom. She wondered just what the Cameron native could be up to.

"What are you doing?" She couldn't help but ask.

The contents of his suitcase seemed to cover the entire room, the younger Hardy brother still hunched over his suitcase as he pulled several items into his arms.

"Preparing," was his only response.

She arched a brow and walked deeper into the room, grabbing articles of clothing as she went. She dumped his clothes back into his suitcase and got a closer look at what he held in his arms. "Please tell me that you're not planning on starting a water fight in here, Jeffrey."

"I'm not-"

"Really? So, what exactly are you planning on doing with those balloons? And, do you actually have one of those super soakers-Jeff, what the hell?" She narrowed her eyes at him and crossed her arms.

He gave her a sheepish smile. "Edge and Cena are in the room next to ours," he offered as an explanation.

She rolled her eyes. "So, you're planning on drowning them when they open the door?"

"Of course," he grinned. He held out the bucket filled with ammunition towards her. "Wanna help?"

Lita chewed on her bottom lip. Lately, she had stayed away from practical jokes, instead watching on in amusement. And it was mainly because she lacked her partner in crime. But, since he was back now...

A mischievous smile parted her lips. "I'll go fill the ice bucket up while you start on the water balloons."


	3. Revenge

Wrestlers, Divas, & General Immaturity

They probably should have seen this coming. For as long as they've known Cena, they should have realized that the man would somehow extract his revenge. They had, after all, attacked the poor guy with balloons filled with water, some of which had red, blue, or purple dye mixed in them which in turn caused him to have to wrestle with splotches of color over his body for a good week (management was beyond annoyed), pelted him with ice cubes and had also managed to spill the remains of the ice bucket down the front of his pants, and then they had hosed him down with the pair of rather large sized super soakers Jeffrey had managed to smuggle into the hotel. And while the attack had been designed against both John and his room mate for the night, Edge. . .John had, unfortunately for him but fortunate enough for Edge, been the only occupant and thus was a victim of an assault that was designated for two men.

The pair could only imagine how much he had paid the hotel for the damages that were inflicted upon the room. And from what they had heard, Edge had refused to help pay for the damages, had argued that it was John's own damned fault for letting the mischievous pair into their hotel room. . . John had retaliated against Edge by tossing the blond man's bags into the pool. Which Edge still grumbled about even a month later. . .

Sadly enough, Lita and Jeff weren't lucky enough for John to have just tossed their things like he had Edge. Instead, the outspoken wrestler had somehow gotten a key to their hotel rooms, Jeff had roomed with Randy Orton while Lita roomed with Trish Stratus in order to get some girl time going (Victoria and Lilian Garcia split another room, which connected to their fellow divas'), and had not only taken their bags and scattered the articles of clothing around various places inside of the hotel but as Lita and Trish trudged back up to their hotel room, a scowl on the redhead's face as she muttered dark words against the wrestler, they were shocked to find that their room was covered in what looked like silly string.

"Oh, that son of a bitch!" Lita exclaimed, tossing her clothes down and stepping deeper into the room. Trish behind her. Lita's face crumpled in disgust when she reached out a picked a handful of the sticky substance off of the wall. She flicked it off her hand and then wiped her palm on the pair of jeans she wore. She turned to look at her room mate, Trish too looked annoyed. "When I get my hands on him-"

She was cut off by the shrill ring of the hotel phone and Trish answered because she was the closest to the object. "Hello?" A pause on her end as she listened to the caller. Trish dropped her jaw in surprise, "Shaving cream? Are you serious?"

Lita blinked. She kind of figured that it was either Jeff or Randy, unsurprised that John had also gotten their hotel room. Because Randy and Trish had chosen to room with them, Lita kind of figured that John thought they also deserved it. She shook her head and wondered if John really understood what he had just done.

It was war.

And the Boston native had just messed with the wrong people.


	4. Sleep

Prompt Word: Sleep

She pressed her lips together and looked away for a moment, the woman having a hard time not laughing. Trish returning her attention to the couple on the living room floor... "You gonna be finished any time soon?"

Lita sent a quick smirk over her shoulder before she continued to work on her unconscious boyfriend. "Almost," she replied as she colored in the heart she had drawn on the expanse of his chest with a red sharpie. She tossed the permanent marker away when she had finished, pulling her head back in order to admire her handiwork. She smiled, clearly pleased. "You know," she stood up carefully and stepped away from the unsuspecting blond man... Trish in the process of taking pictures of Chris Jericho as evidence of their tomfoolery. She stood beside her friend, "it's such a shame that they fell asleep, leaving us awake and bored. Really, they should have known better."

Trish was quick to agree. "They have known us the longest," she said in regard to the three blond men that had passed out due to the several many alcoholic beverages they had consumed and were each sporting new *tattoos*, courtesy of sharpie. Chris Jericho, of course, had a rather large heart on his chest, Lita's name smack dab in the middle with the words *property of* etched in above her name... And because Edge and Christian had happened to lose consciousness next to the other, both men seated on the floor and against the couch, Trish had decided to give them matching 'I'm with Fatso' *tattoos* with the arrows pointing at the other man. She sighed, pocketing her camera as she turned to her redheaded best friend, "If you think about it... Jeff was pretty smart to lock himself in the bathroom."

Lita snorted. "If he were really smart, he wouldn't have gone to bed before us." She crossed the room and opened the cabinet she had kept all of her keys in, pulling a certain key out. She gestured for Trish to follow her, the blond doing so. Lita grinned when she stopped in front of the door to the bathroom that the Hardy brother had barricaded himself in. "You might want to get your camera ready, Trish. Possibly take a video instead, because Jeffrey's about to get a freezing wake up call."


	5. Handcuffs

Prompt Word: Handcuffs  
related to "Hotel Room" and "Revenge"

"I still think he deserves a whole lot more than what we're giving him," Randy scowled as the group of wrestlers made their way down the hall of the hotel they would be staying in for the next couple of days. He clenched his jaw to disguise his pout, "Fucking bastard..."

Lita and Trish smirked at each other.

"Sugar, trust us... Our plan is a brilliant form of torture." The redhead stopped in front of a certain room and knocked. Seconds later it was opened by the dimwitted diva known as Maria. Lita smiled at her, aware of the crush she harbored for the WWE champion. "Hey, Maria. Ready?"

The interviewer began to nod, but then shook her head. "I forgot - wait," she ran back into her hotel room and Lita shoved a foot in the doorway to stop it from closing. She rolled her eyes but then forced a smile once again when Maria returned. "I almost forgot these," Maria lifted up the pair of fuzzy pink handcuffs she held in her hand and Lita fought not to laugh at the younger woman.

And Trish had to chew on the inside of her cheek to stop her own laughter. "Kinda essential to our plan, we wouldn't want you to forget those," she muttered and then ushered Maria down the hall, Jeff on the other side of Maria...

Lita looked up at the Legend Killer, hazel eyes dancing in amusement. "Maria may be a nice bit of eye candy, but the girl is annoying... and we're planning on handcuffing her to Cena. He'd want to kill himself before the night is over."

Randy grinned in return, "One could only hope."


	6. Cat Food

Prompt Word: Cat Food

She stepped into the kitchen with her boyfriend's cat in her arms. Oscar purring loudly. And Lita frowned when she found that the kitchen counter was clear of the items she had left there before she had fetched the cat. She quickly swept her eyes around the room and found nothing. She looked down at the cat, "That's weird. Your food was on the counter before I left..." She turned around and made her way into the living room, where she found her boyfriend and the other two blond Canadians seated on the couch. The television set was turned on, but instead of watching the game... She snorted when she caught sight of Thing 1 and Thing 2, the outspoken wrestler and his best friend were seated on the ground with their backs propped against the wall. She cleared her throat as she eyed the familiar bowl in the third generation superstar's hands, the pair dipping crackers into the dish rather eagerly. "What, uh, what are you guys eating?"

"Tuna dip," Cena replied quickly, the man shoving another cracker into his mouth.

Randy nodded as he dipped a cracker into the dish, shoveling out some of what they had thought was tuna dip, but was really Oscar's cat food. Christian, Jericho, and Edge knew that quite well, the men rather red in the face and uncharacteristically silent... He took a bite out of the cracker. "It's really good, Li.'

"Um," Lita moved closer to the younger wrestlers and Oscar hissed when he saw his bowl. Randy only arched a brow in confusion. The redhead bent down and collected it, her eyes widened when she noticed that more than half of Oscar's dinner was gone. "You're not wrong about it being tuna, but... It's actually cat food."

Both wrestlers stopped mid-chew, wide eyes turned on the former diva. "What?"

The blond men seated on the couch chose that moment to laugh out loud and Lita rolled her eyes at them. "It's Oscar's dinner... I left it on the-"

She wasn't able to finish her sentence because she was suddenly pushed out of the way, John and Randy running towards the bathrooms. She watched them go and then turned to the Canadians. She ignored Oscar's meows for his food just for the moment and arched a brow, "And none of you said anything because?"

Christian grinned at his girlfriend, mischief in his brown eyes, "Because it was funnier not to."


	7. Soda

Prompt Word: Soda

She watched as the diva flirted with her boyfriend.

Lita smirking as an idea came to her, she quickly made her way to the cooler and grabbed two cans of soda. One she shook like crazy and the other she merely held in her hand. She made her way to the pair and very casually slid her arm around Chris Jericho's waist, planting a soft kiss against his cheek.

"Hey, baby," Lita smiled at him. Chris grinning back at her, his own arm resting over her shoulders. She turned towards the other woman. "Hi Kelly," she offered one of the drinks to the younger diva. "Thirsty?"

Kelly Kelly arched a brow, but then smiled. "I could use something to drink," she replied, but took the other can of soda, obviously not trusting to take the one Lita had offered her.

But Lita just shrugged, turning to Chris and offering it to him, which he gladly took from her. She returned her attention to Kelly Kelly and then immediately laughed when the other woman popped the can open and was drenched in orange soda.

And it was a shame that she had chose to wear white, too.


	8. Coin

Prompt Word: Coin

Her fate was not left in the hands of Jeff Hardy. Or more specifically it wasn't left in the hands of a quarter

Except it was. Not that quarters had hands anyway.

Lita frowned and watched as her best friend flicked the coin in the air, she watched as it spun and dropped back onto his open palm. And watched as Jeff slapped his other hand over it before she was able to tell its outcome.

"Remember, heads-"

"I know, I know!" Lita interrupted him with a wave of her hand. She sighed. "Just get on with it."

Jeff shrugged, not at all upset that she had cut through his dialogue. He pulled his hand off of the other and stared down at the coin. He laughed out loud.

"Tails!" He screamed as he waved the coin at her, the bottom end of the coin being displayed.

Lita wasn't able to keep herself from pouting.

Darn it!

But Jeff was estatic.

"That means no to Pee Wee Herman and hello Scooby-Doo marathon!"


End file.
